It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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