Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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