My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
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