This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
