It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Randomize
