what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
