I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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