Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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