haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
