my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
