This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
