apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
