u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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