I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Terrible idea I love it
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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