Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
so let's talk penis.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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