Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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