he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
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