I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Randomize
