Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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