I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
