I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
