She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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