Your tits are I can't wait for
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
