Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
