It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
