And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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