i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
