well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
