If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Randomize
