This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So vagazzling was a success
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
