would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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