If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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