xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
