do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
