I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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