so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
The power of my boobs compel you
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
