you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
be right there i have to get my cape
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize