Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
