I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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