He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize