Small penises have feelings too.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
