The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
