when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
