i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
