Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
