All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize