you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
