dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
