dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Randomize
