i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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