weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Randomize
