everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
