You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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