i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
