yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I'm like, not good at living.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
