What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
