I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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