So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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