I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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