gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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