I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize